We are now 3 days into the New year and I have already managed to break and remake my new years resolutions and this got me thinking. A) Why do I bother? and B) Is there a formula that can help you make your new years resolutions more successful? So, before you start making a list for a 'new you' in 2017 lets seriously ask ourselves why bother?
The Past Experience
In my past experience all new years resolutions actually do is make me feel worse about myself, especially if your like me, and by January 15th they are out of the window. Okay, so I am a type A personality (you know the annoying kind) and this means I am constantly striving for perfection. This, I realise, doesn't exist but in my mind anything that falls short of this is a complete failure. For example a goal of mine might be to eat less chocolate and I might not eat a bar for 3 weeks (never going to happen) but as soon as a cube of choccy hits my lips despite the massive achievement - I feel I am a failure. As you can imagine, having that inner voice constantly saying 'that's shit' gets uber draining and boring and so I now try to set achievable goals, aka non. I mean, really, if I wanted to make myself feel bad I would just sit around in my pj's and just go through Bella Hadid's Instagram feed while eating my 2nd box of Cadbury Heroes. Oh wait, that sounds like my ideal Saturday night.
The Small Stuff
When I was younger and a little less wise I used to make so many silly new years resolutions and they would be about the stupidest of things. But I would start a new diary and write in my neatest most grown up writing (Yep kids, not everything used to be typed) and try to make sensible adult resolutions. Here for your entertainment are few I found in a diary at my Mum's over Christmas written by my 13yr old self.
1. 'Wear matching underwear'. Ironic because I didn't need a bra and because my Mum bought all my underwear I literally had no say over the colours. Perhaps my true goal was matching my knickers to my socks. Isn't that what all young girls dream of?
2. 'Stop losing all my bobbie pins'. Yep, I kid you not, I actually wrote that down. What sort of resolution is this? Although I think every girl can relate because that frustration is real. Especially when the key to your perfected top knot is only one pin away. And because now, as Jay-Z should have rapped it 'I have 99 bobbie pins and I can't find one'.
3. 'To put make up on everyday for school'. Something I don't even do now for work, so who was I kidding? And thank god! I think I definitely have better skin now because I wasn't piling on the ladybug cream eyeshadows everyday from Bodycare (if you know, you know).
The Crappy Preppy Tips
The crappy preppy tips, you know the kind? You can't refresh your feed without bumping into some sort of post about 'finding yourself', 'the inner you', 'the more spiritually awake you'. Well the last time I checked I am awake much to my dismay. Because with the way the rain is banging on my window now I would rather be dreaming about being on a beach. Don't get me wrong, I love a good inspirational quote as much as the next Pinterest'er but they have to make sense because lets face it, all it does is confuse you and then makes you think 'am I incomplete because I don't know what this inner thingy ma jiggy is?' And if I don't know, does that mean I haven't found it? And now, must I take a 'gap yaaar' (say it in a toff accent and it makes sense) and travel to Thailand to find it?
🎉💥The Winning Formula 💥🎉
Okay, so hopefully you will have read the above and maybe picked up a winning formula for your new years resolution but for the cheap seats at the back here it is:
- Don't set unobtainable goals. Especially if it involves bobbie pins and not loosing them.
- Don't be harsh on yourself if you don't hit your goals. There is unfortunately enough people in the world who would relish making you feel bad about yourself don't let yourself also be one of those people.
- Don't compare your goals to others. With social media its easy to think that your goals are less worthy than others. If you're going to set them, make it what you want to do and not what you think they should be based on other peoples expectations.
- Don't set goals for the sake of it. If you are content, congratulations, you have basically got what every person is looking for and you didn't have to spend a penny traveling to find it.
- Don't let the start of the year be the only time you feel motivated to set yourself goals. New years does not hold the key on making a change and if you want to do something do it when you feel motivated to do it. That's probably when you are more likely to reach your goal anyway.